Me Against World
Sitting in a casino on my 26th Birthday finally checked out another item in my bucket list. It was fun, well mostly. But it made me wonder when my life became just crossing items off lists whether it’s to-do, bucket, or a habits list. Doesn’t that make you wonder what’s life is all about?
Is it about doing everything that everyone before you has done? You know get a good job, find someone great(who can tolerate you as well), have a bunch of kids, and work to provide for them endlessly.
Is it following the path of so-called travelers? The ones who always mention how many countries they have traveled to, how it helped them find themselves. I never quite understood the feeling. I have been to a few places as well. It’s mostly planning, shopping for the right clothes, snapping some pictures, and just going to places for me.
Is it about giving back to the world? Maybe that’s the path to happiness. I tried this as well. Makes me just sadder as no matter how much suffering you try to help, there is always more in the world.
Is it about your career? There are so many people around me who work round the clock, earn so much money, and do exceptional in their offices. And the ones opening and running their own business, entrepreneurs make me reflect on my so average and standard 9 to 5 life. Makes me question what do I not have?
When did having fun became a synonym for having a great Instagram feed and being popular? Or maybe it was always like that(just different platforms) and I was too hopeful to notice it.
I never understood the value in all that. Snapping a hundred pictures, editing, and posting them. The idea of meeting with people just to click a thousand photos with them, change them so much at the exact moment such that it doesn't even resemble you anymore, and writing why they are such amazing friends to you. Well, what’s the point?
Someone, I know once referred to all these shenanigans as the way of passing time but the optimist in me rebuffed at the idea. Although now I think she may be right.
As I continue to chat with people, there are fleeting moments where I feel that I belong. I feel like I could fit in there but those few seconds pass on as quickly as they come. But even for a very short time, it’s me with the world.
Maybe that’s all you can hope for in life. Maybe that’s why people do all the things just so they could fit in. Well, what do I know? I am just another barely not social outcast.
